The Brand New World Snooker Championship Final

As you know, the Snooker news is being dominated of how it should be more like Darts. 

What would happen though if it was? Well here is my report from the New World Championship Final which has been changed to be like Darts.

(Unfortunately it won't be accurate as My Crystal Ball has broken)

It's a warm day in May, and the Lakeside Crucible is full of people dressed up. The beers are selling loads and the audience walk into the Crucible arena and find their table to sit on. They find their cards with 147! on the back and a space for them to draw on. There, on the stage however. next to two giant screens is the Table.

5 Minutes later, the players walk out, the song 'Beautiful Day' by U2 is played, lights flash everywhere and out walks Ryan Day with some skinny blonde twice the size of him. He walks towards the stage shaking everyone's hand. He takes a gulp of beer, sits down and waits.

Then, out of the smoke comes Ronnie O'Sullivan to the tune of 'Rocket Man' by Elton John. He does the same as Ryan and collects the white ball from the Ref with a microphone. The Ref turns to the crowd, and they all shout 'LETS. PLAY. SNOOOOOKEEEEEERRRRR!!!!!!'

Ronnie Breaks Off in the World Final and finds the Baulk Cushion.

'NO SCORE!!!' Shouts the Ref

Ryan plays a safety shot.

'NO SCORE!!!'

Ronnie plays a negative safety shot to the top cushion.

'NO SCORE!!!'

After a long safety battle and 27 'NO SCORE!!!'s, Ryan finds a chance of a long red, he downs some beer, lines up, and pots!

'OOOOONNNNNEEEE!!!!'

The TV shows Ryan's wife/auntie sitting at a table looking nervous.

Ryan pots again.

'EEIIIGHHHHTTT'

This time Ryan lines up a red into the middle/treble pocket. For a Treble One...

'EEEELLLLEEEVEEENN!'

Ryan continues, knocking in treble blacks (24) and moving towards a frame winning position.

But, disaster! He takes a tricky yellow into the double/bottom pocket and misses it.

'RYAN DAY! EEEEIGGGHTY OOONEEE!'

'Come On Ronnie' is heard in the crowd.

Ronnie pots loads of balls and a couple of trebles and doubles.

Soon the Rocket is on the last three balls. John Virgo commentates...

'Here we go, Treble Blue.'

Potted.

'Single Pink.'

Potted.

'DOUBLE BLACK TO WIN!'

Missed.

The Black clipped the wire/jaw and went the wrong side. Ryan stepped up to knock the double black in.

'FOOOOURTEEEEEN AND THE FIRST LEG'

Ryan went onto take the first set 3 legs to 1. He raced into a 3-0 set lead but Ronnie fought back to 3-3 in a first-to-5-legs final.

Day took the next set 3-2 but Ronnie hit back with a 147 much to the delight of the crowd in the next set.

The deciding set was nervy and it was 4-4 before the Ref told the players there would be a Tie-Break.

It was 2 'o' clock in the morning and half the crowd had downed over 67 pints of beer. Ronnie got a fluke off the break and went off, unfortunately he missed a Treble Green and gave Ryan a chance. Ryan went on and got a chance to win the BDO (British Darts-Snooker Association) World Championships.

'Single Blue'

Got It

'Double Pink' 

Clipped the Wire and went in'

'DOUBLE BLACK FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP!'

Missed by a Mile.

Ronnie now had three shots for the title, 19 Million were watching on TV. He stepped up.

'Miss'

'Miss'

'Clipped the Wire and Missed'

'NO SCORE!'

Ronnie picked up his cue ball and walked back to his seat. Ryan put his white on the table, aimed and...

'FOOOOURTEEEN! AND THE CHAMPIONSHIP!'

Ryan Day had won, he fell to his knees, kissed his cue and shouted 'YES!'

A Skinny Blonde Woman 3 Times the size of Ryan presented him with a cheque of £1 Million, and Barry Hearn, organiser of the event gave Ryan the trophy.